Details and Emotions

Though Courtney does an outstanding job of blogging and I could never take her place in that role, I thought that I would take a shot at giving a Head update so as to give her a break from her daily blogging duties...so here goes.

Ever feel like you're standing on the edge of a tall cliff, completely surrounded and the only way to move forward is to jump? That's us right now with our baby girl. The danger surrounding us is the coarctation of Ava Jane's aorta in which we have all become educated in the last few days in addition to the RSV that's moving in on us from the side. And, the surgery repair that she is scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning (7am) is the casym below us.

The details of today were doctors - lots of doctors - that spoke to us about Ava Jane's surgery and what we can expect. The procedure itself, potential complications, anesthesia, recovery, and post operative plans were the topics of discussion. Her surgeon was pretty point blank in his description of the surgery itself as well as the associated potential complications. He is Japanese and there is a little bit of a language barrier so the discussion went something like, "She have this problem, she have more surgery".."She have that problem, she have more surgery". We completely respect the guy and absolutely trust that God has placed him in Ava Jane's path right now, but some syrup is always nice.

We also got the low down from the Anesthesiologist, who, though he was concerned about Ava Jane's RSV post-operatively, said he would take care of her and handle it. He said he would discuss his concerns with the rest of the team. Soon thereafter and before the afternoon was over, Ava Jane's Cardiologist came back into our room, along with the surgeon, the anesthesiologist, her APN, and 2 nurses. We wanted to feel that everyone was on the same page and that was what we got. What they had to say put us at ease.

Right now, the evening before, if someone asks if we are fearful, we can honestly say yes, but we're courageously moving forward. After all, courage is not the absence of fear, but moving forward in spite of it. The courage we have only comes from our Maker, who is also the Maker of our 2-month old daughter, who knows her and loves her more than we could ever imagine. Hebrews 4 makes clear that we do not have a Savior who "is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses", so we "should approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find the grace to help us in our time of need". Translation - Jesus experienced every human emotion during his time on earth and he is the same one that intercedes for us when we experience fear, heartache, etc. while we are on this earth and turn to Him. Therefore, we do not serve an emotionally distant God.

I saw a picture in my parent's house recently of a large hand holding a tiny baby and that is a perfect image of our God and Ava Jane. He loves her more than we do. He created her, and Courtney and I want to rest in that.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support!

-Adam (and Courtney)