Yesterday wrapped up the semester for my Bible Study, BLOOM (Building a Legacy Out Of Motherhood). The food was good as always and the speakers were challenging and inspiring. We did a book called God Architect by our own Kathryn Maack, which I have thoroughly enjoyed doing. It's been about mothers roles in their homes, how we can point our children to God and how to intentionally seek out spiritual conversations with others, especially our children. I have loved the practical application that was shared as well as the verses from God's word that have exhorted and challenged me to strive after this.
I think my biggest take away may have been the last chapter which was all about the Holy Spirit being at work in us. In the leaders meeting we were given three full pages listing characteristics of who the Holy Spirit is and honestly, I was actually really surprised by how many things that the Bible says the Holy Spirit does or can do. Why I try to sell him short, I have no idea, because why else would Jesus have said, "If I go, then the helper will come", if he didn't have all these attributes and qualities, he wouldn't really be "a helper", would he?
Sometimes, to be real honest, I feel powerless. Though I am a believer in Jesus Christ and I have been given the Holy Spirit who "guarantees my inheritance", who "will be my helper" and "will bring to remembrance all that God has said". Sometimes I feel like I just need more of Jesus, which in reality is really a good thing to need more of, but I struggle because if I do indeed have the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of me, why do I still feel powerless at times? Powerless to be patient with my kids or in the grocery store line, powerless to always be loving to those I come in contact with, powerless to be kind (when I feel like screaming) or powerless to be joyful in all circumstances. When I say powerless, I mean, why isn't it my natural instinct to be these things and to act this way? The obvious answer is that I am sinful, and I live in a sin soaked world. A good friend of mine reminded me the other morning, "well, just think what we'd be like if we DID NOT have the Holy Spirit living inside of us at all?" That's truly a thought provoking question, which could create all kinds of drama and crazy outcomes if I let that scenario play out to the end…(SCARY, don't want to think about such things!!)
Thank the Lord I do have the Holy Spirit living inside me to convict me of sin (John 16:8), to reveal Christ to me and in me (John 16:14-15), to empower me (Romans 15:19, Acts 1:8) to fill me (Ephesians 5:18) and to produce in me the fruit or evidence of His work and presence (Gal 5:22-23). I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit can reveal the deep things of God to me (I Corinthians 2:10), dwells within me (Romans 8:9), grants me access to God the Father (Ephesians 2:18) and most importantly, as far as right now goes, I'm so thankful that the Holy Spirit can bring to my remembrance things that Gods word says (John 14:26) because sometimes this Mommy brain of mine is just not capable of recalling one.more.thing!
I am so thankful for this past semester, for the study and fellowship as well as the truth and knowledge that's been gained. And I am super grateful to have had these women to share with. Their transparency and vulnerability has made our group a real gem, and it's been a true pleasure to dialogue and pray for one another. I hope we will "consider how to stir up one another to love and good works and encourage one another." (Hebrews 10:24-28)
And in those moments where I feel powerless, my prayer is that I will remember, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."