A Scar

Sorry I've not posted anything in the past days since leaving the hospital. I've been up to my eye balls as I re-orient to life. I don't know if its just exhaustion or simply the phase of life that I'm in (it's probably a combo), but I've been tired and honestly just trying to push through. The Christmas season is busy and hectic anyway, but with what's been going on the last few weeks, it's been comin' at warp speed it feels like. Crazy that Christmas is 12 days away, what?! I totally missed Thanksgiving, it's hard to believe we're almost to Christmas! Wow!

I've gotten lots of texts and emails asking how things are going now that we're home...she's doing really well. She's been nursing good and sleeping pretty good too, though I have felt like we're back into the newborn stage just trying to get off the hospital schedule of people coming in every other hour to check vitals or give meds.

I have such a hard time believing that we are where we are...who would have thought that 3 weeks ago I would be out shopping and having lunch with friends today...she's doing phenominally well! If it weren't for scars and meds she takes every 8 and 12 hours (which has taken some getting used to for me...I've never been good at taking medication on a regular basis, but I can't forget these) you'd never know she'd been through what she has!

I looked up the definition of "scar" its any mark left on the skin or other tissue following the healing of a wound; it's a permanent change in a person's character resulting from emotional distress. Well, she certainly has one of those, and I definitely have a permanent change because of the distress. I've never been a paranoid Mother, never been one to flip out about handwashing and antibacterial hand sanitzer; never been one to really worry about the kids thinking "they'll be ok"...so I've found myself in a new position, one that checks her often as she's sleeping (making sure her little chest is still rising and falling) and being so vigilent with hand washing; this is kind of new for a Mom of four!

She has quite a long incision on her back and she'll always have a little indention where her chest tube was...but as I look at the miracle of her, I'm convinced that these "scars" will serve as memorial stones for both she and I. Memorial stones of God's faithfulness!

My Mom has always talked about "polishing her memorial stones" (remembering the times where God has intervened or provided) so that's not an unfamiliar concept, but now it takes on a new meaning for me each time I pick Ava Jane up (one hand under her head and the other one under her bo-bo) and I feel the thick line of scar tissue running along her incision. It is my memorial stone. It is my reminder. God saved her, God protected her, God was gracious to us! I love to think on it, and "polish my memorial stone" as I stroke her hair and pat her little back! God has been incredibly gracious and we are grateful!

Here is what her scar looks like...doesn't it look amazingly well! It's never oozed or drained or anything. It only had a dressing on it for the first 3 days, but after that, nothing!


And here's a picture including the spot where her chest tube was...


She truly is the best Christmas gift I could get this year! Thank you for praying and caring about her! We have a follow up appointment on Monday morning and are praying everything looks good. We have another appointment with her Cardiologist on the 26th to do another Echocariogram. Will let you know how things go!