This is new for me, I'm usually running Mach 2 with my hair on fire, but in the past few weeks I've actually stopped, sat down and read two books WITH MY EYES (not my ears) and I've taken two afternoon naps, which NEVER EVER happens! The last year has had its fair share of challenges for Adam and I (not in the sense of our marriage--thankfully that is intact and as we move closer and closer to our 15th anniversary in August, I am more and more keenly aware of my love for him.) Rather, this year has had us in the grips of relational challenges, work dynamics, school responsibilities, parenting dilemmas and extended family situations that have pressed us and pulled us in all the hard (and good) ways. I haven't been blogging as regularly simply because I haven't been able to articulate (nor should I articulate all the things in this here blog) but mercy, to be quite honest, I've been left grappling and wrestling with all the things and asking God to renew and restore what CAN be and to give me the grace to move forward knowing that He has plans to prosper and not to harm us, plans to give us a future and a hope. He has been and always will be my good, good Father who is trustworthy and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love---it is those attributes that I long to mimic, that I desire to live out as well as grow in. I'm hopeful that my God who makes all things new will continue to refine me in the fire of challenging circumstances and that He will renew and restore the circumstances I find myself in, in a miraculous way, that only He can do. Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
So, as sweet summertime continues to tick by I want to savor and enjoy the regular and the normal, the challenging and wonderful moments that life has to offer me. I'm gonna continue to try and be the change I want to see around me, and hopefully, with the help of the Holy Spirit living inside me, I will gradually begin to see the restoration that I hope and so much long for.
In light of the challenges we have faced, we have tried to take advantage of the moments that present themselves. Adam was able to take the afternoon off a couple weeks ago and we spent time together as a family in a beautiful and peaceful setting, albeit very, very hot. The boys have been taking golf lessons and enjoyed getting to play with Daddy while Ava Jane and I drove one of the golf carts. I took a book and simply enjoyed the opportunity to be together.
We lost a lot of balls this round, between the three boys, but they are beginning to use the skills they've been learning at golf camp the past few summers and it's fun to see them starting something that they can do for a lifetime.
And this sweet sassy britches--what can I say? I sure enjoyed riding around the course with her, eating snacks and drinking our respective liquids of choice, my Bai and her purple Gatorade. I want to remember these days and store away the simplicity of these moments and the joy that fills my heart just by being together. Its times like these that help me re-focus and remember that "whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, if there be anything praiseworthy, think about such things!" (Phillippians 4:8) I'm definitely in a process but I hope that you too can learn to rest, truly rest.
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